So Aaron and I got the most wonderful letter in the mail yesterday—from some church in Kansas or Oklahoma (can’t remember where, now). You know what it was? A paper Prayer Handkerchief. Yes! All we had to do was write our names and one person’s name that needed help from God on the hankie, open our Bibles to—somewhere in Luke, I think (the letter said it was okay if we didn’t have a Bible because God could see), and then we were supposed to sleep on it overnight. Beats me how a person is supposed to get any sleep with a Bible and a paper Prayer Handkerchief stuck under their pillow, but maybe God gives those people special powers to sleep or something.

Anyway, after we had slept on it one night, we were supposed to fill out this form that asked what we needed most. It had lots of options like money (please specify amount), a better job, a bigger house, a nicer car—stuff like that; and then we were supposed to send the handkerchief and the form back to the church in the provided postage-paid envelope. It was amazing—the church included bold, all-capital, underlined actual testimonials from real, live people who had done this and gotten, like, $6,000, or a promotion, or a brand new mansion from it. That’s how we new that it was really going to work, and we wouldn’t just be wasting a night of sleep over it. Amazing, isn’t it?

Anyway, it really was an answer to prayer, you see—well, not for us, but for Hank. We’d run out of cage liner for him, and the paper Prayer Handkerchief fit perfectly. We wrote his name on the handkerchief, along with Tweetie Bird’s name (we didn’t know the names of any other birds), and put it under the perch that he sleeps on during the night. He doesn’t have a Bible, so we couldn’t do that part; but that’s okay, because God sees. Anyway, so Hankie slept over it all night, and in the morning when we cleaned out his cage, we asked Hankie what he needed most so we could fill out the form and send it in. He didn’t know, so we told them he needed money, since he doesn’t have any (we just said “as much as possible" where they asked us to please specify amount), and sent the form and the paper Prayer Handkerchief back in the provided postage-paid envelope. I sure hope the birdie droppings on the paper Prayer Handkerchief don’t bother anyone.

In case anyone is worried, we didn’t really send the church a paper Prayer Handkerchief with birdie droppings on it. No, we accidentally sent in the newspaper that we’d used to line his cage before the paper Prayer Handkerchief.